Turning Setbacks into Victories: One Learner’s Story
Extremely bright, Wayne came to me after flunking several courses his first semester of college. He’d been in treatment for anxiety and was ready to address the academic side of things. Recently diagnosed, Wayne’s ADHD had never been addressed. “My executive functioning skills are abysmal," he said.
In my practice, academic work becomes the vehicle for ferreting out and addressing the root causes of anxiety. Observing the struggle with attempted school work gives my learners and I a chance to identify and understand the barriers that create the anxiety. Completing the assignment for its own sake is a by-product - if you will - of our work. Put another way, at the beginning of my work with a learner, I don’t really care if they learn any academic content. I care that they learn how to “do school in a way that doesn’t make them miserable.”
Because he was not enrolled in school, needed to create an academic experience for the basis of treatment. After some initial skill-building to learn how to keep track of assignments, Wayne started with an online community college course to have practice with writing, time management, organization, deadlines, and homework. With support, Wayne succeeded beautifully. Based on that success, we upped the ante with an intensive “J-term” course. The accelerated workload buried him and he failed.
Next, Wayne enrolled in a college designed to support neurodivergence, taking a reduced course load, which I heartily supported. His performance was spotty. Being on campus with real-time assignments gave us a chance to experience and problem-solve around daily obstacles.
For instance, Wayne simply could not get himself to faculty office hours for help. When we peeled it apart, we discovered that he couldn’t find the office. Wayne’s brain does not readily make sense of space; maps are meaningless for him.
With a history of wandering lost around buildings, feeling embarrassed to ask for directions when a room might literally be in front of him, going to office hours created anxiety for Wayne. Understandably, he avoided doing it.
Wayne didn’t actually realize that orienting himself in space was a struggle for him. He just knew he couldn’t bring himself to deal with office hours despite his best intentions. Once we identified the root cause, Wayne easily solved the problem by bringing a friend until he memorized the building.
After passing his semester, Wayne returned to his university, enrolling in two courses only. He persevered with varying success. I believe he failed or dropped one of the courses. The next semester, he took two courses and passed both. The following semester, he added a course. Again, he failed one and passed two - progress. Next semester he took three and passed three. He added a part-time job to the mix and continued to pass. In his final year, Wayne carried a full load and passed all courses.
I believe Wayne required an extra semester to fulfill all his credits for graduation, but he graduated and has been accepted into graduate school. Happily, I had to text him to find out this last bit - Wayne hasn’t needed me for about a year!
Progress in the process is nearly always for two steps forward, one step back. Our brains learn through failure, so commitment to the end goal is key. Wayne’s family really understood this. Yes, they had moments. We all had to take a deep breath when Wayne failed (another) course. But they stuck with it.
With of his family’s support, Wayne’s setbacks became opportunities that taught him more about his own brain and learning style. Five years ago, Wayne could not complete a one paragraph homework assignment. Now he’s headed to grad school in linguistics.
I have enormous respect for Wayne’s parents. Both are extremely successful academics. I can only imagine how often they had to swallow hard and keep a firm grip on their tongues. But they did not rush and never despaired. They trusted the process and it worked. Wayne’s thriving now. I can only imagine where he’ll be at thirty-five.