Talented, Smart, and Oh-So-Anxious about School
The last few weeks I’ve been describing shared characteristics of my academically anxious learners. Often they have misunderstood neurocomplexity which has interrupted a previously successful school career. They’re bright students from highly educated families. The final commonality, however, has nothing to do with academics at all. Many of my students are remarkably gifted in a non-academic area.
I mean gifted. To date, I’ve taught D1 athletes, teen entrepreneurs who’ve developed significantly profitable online businesses, a young journalist for a national magazine, a vocalist who’d acted on Broadway, and a first-year college student already playing with a nationally ranked college marching band. And these ones are just a few who come to mind.
Without exception, my talented learners are extremely modest about their accomplishments. Sometimes we’ve worked together for over a year before it gets mentioned in passing. This characteristic humility offers me clues about how my learners may think.
A sense of failure and frustration with school may vastly outweigh the sense of self-value gained from non-academic pursuits.
The aptitude underlying their success has made their accomplishment feel like it came easily compared to school.
The area of giftedness is a “hobby” that doesn’t count; academic achievement is what really “matters.”
These high achieving non-academic endeavors do not seem to carry the anxiety engendered by schoolwork, even with perfectionists. I’m glad my learners have a success-associated outlet, even if they discount it. And when academic anxiety is crippling, I begin to suggest that’s where the focus needs to be.
In families with highly educated parents, the assumption is often that all children will graduate from college. Boomers, GenXers, and Millennials all grew up hearing that a college degree was necessary to earn a decent living. Factually, that is no longer the case; the employment landscape has changed. We all have heard stories of college graduates drowning in student loans while trying to make ends meet in a career that doesn’t even require a degree.
Occasionally, I have learners who find academics to be so painfully triggering, they truly cannot succeed. Invariably, they become deeply depressed, worsening the situation. Sometimes they have to leave college for their own safety.
Clearly, in such acute situations, mental healthcare is required and college rightfully goes on the back burner. When the learner is ready to return, I encourage them to examine their life goals, usually with their therapist. If her goals require a degree, then we roll up our sleeves and provide a lot of support.
But in cases where the learner is unsure about their direction or academics actually seem harmful, I encourage families to consider alternatives. It may be better to take a break and work, particularly if opportunities can be created around their particular strength. To bounce back and build resilience, people need to choose a path that does not make them miserable. Everyone doesn’t need to graduate from college in their young twenties. And - dare I say it - everyone doesn’t need to go to college at all.
Higher education will always be available should it become a necessity for my anxious learners who leave school without a diploma. Leveraging non-academic talent to build a satisfying and healthy life makes perfect sense when academics are harmful to one’s mental health. Should my gifted anxious learners someday need education to pursue their passion, I suspect maturity and a desire to pursue a happier path will make academics much easier for them to manage. And if that happens, they can always give me a call.